What Happens When Prayer Becomes A Sermon Instead Of A Surrender

Ever sat in a prayer circle and felt the flow snap—not because God went silent, but because someone turned a prayer into a performance? In this episode, we dive into the anatomy of prayer that heals versus prayer that harms. Along the way, we name what many feel but rarely say: lectures at people are not petitions to God, and eloquent words can still miss His heart.

We map out three modes of conversation—talking at, talking to, and talking with—and apply them to prayer. Talking at God is one‑sided and fueled by control. Talking to God is growth, but motives may still be mixed. Talking with God is alignment: agreement beyond compliance, where our will submits and our ears finally open. That shift unlocks discernment, prunes fleshly motives, and restores the Spirit’s flow. Think Acts‑style unity, where one accord births power rather than noise.

To ground it, we walk through Jesus’ parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. The Pharisee compares, lists credentials, and mistakes self‑exaltation for devotion. The tax collector stands back, beats his chest, and asks for mercy. Jesus calls the humble man justified. The takeaway is clear: posture beats polish. God resists the proud but draws near to the contrite, and the prayers that move heaven start with a searched heart and a surrendered will.

We close with a candid invitation to examine your prayer life, become a doer of the word, and move from performance to presence. If you sense a nudge, let it lead you—confess pride, release comparison, and ask God to align your desires with His. Subscribe, share this with a friend who cares about real spiritual growth, and leave a review telling us: are you talking at, to, or with God today?

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome, Gratitude, Holiday Blessings
• 0:47 Reflecting On God’s Faithfulness
• 2:00 Health Scares, Maturity, And Grace
• 4:20 A Disturbing Prayer Meeting
• 6:15 When Prayer Turns Into A Lecture
• 8:40 Talking At, To, Or With God
• 12:05 Fleshly Motives And Discernment
• 15:05 Agreement Versus Compliance With God
• 17:02 Acts Church And One Accord
• 18:30 Servant-Friend Posture In Prayer
• 20:06 The Pharisee And The Tax Collector
• 23:10 Arrogance Tested By Scripture
• 25:00 The Tax Collector’s Repentance
• 27:00 Godly Sorrow Produces Change
• 28:40 Examine Your Prayer Life
• 30:10 Doers Of The Word
• 31:45 Blessing The Listeners

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Welcome to another little podcast. And another little podcast, we go beyond the moment. And when we take another look at our life in Christ, we keep an open heart and mind. So we can reach, teach, and love creation. Whether you are numbers or this one, this podcast is for you. You ready for something new? Something that will challenge your thinking and heart? Are you willing and ready to unlearn in order to learn? Willing to tear them? So gotta carry me up. Let's get up and go. People away from us. Let's go fishing.

SPEAKER_01: 0:47

Hey, happy post-Thanksgiving, everyone. Uh, this is uh Brother Ken from another Look Podcast. Wanted to say um happy belated Thanksgiving. And if I don't get to speak to you before Christmas Day, Merry Christmas. Jesus is the reason for this season. Just want to thank everyone for your followership, for your blessings, for your encouragement. Um this is the day the Lord has made, and I shall rejoice and be glad in it. I really um want to take a few seconds, maybe a minute or so, to just um take in everything. I want to ask you this question: have you ever taken in everything and taken a look at your journey to where you are now? Not so much to pat yourself on the back, but to see how far God has brought you. Um I've been doing that a lot lately, and um I guess sometimes you just keep moving. I was talking to my one of my siblings about it. Sometimes we just keep moving, and even sometimes, like when I look back at actually I was talking to my wife about it. When you look back at some of the things we went through in 2025, we don't always take a step to reflect on things. I know I don't, um, because you keep moving, and you're so accustomed to moving that you don't think about all the things that God has brought you through. Um, some of the things we've been through, I won't get into it, but just to say, but God, you know, because we both went through some serious health scares, health conditions that were no doing of our own, because I know the first thing people like to do is try to find their cause and effect for why you are in the hospital. And some things you just go in the hospital for because of nothing you've done. It's because of could be because you're getting older, but also it's because things happen. Let's be real, some things happen, and I I always shy away or move away from people who like to look for blame or cause and effect for things because that's how they were raised. Um, and I was raised that way too, but you know, there's a thing called maturity, sanctification, where you kind of grow in the things of God and you learn that everything's not based on a cause and effect. And I spoke about that in one of my podcast episodes recently. But just to getting back to my point, just to step back and to reflect on the journey of over your past year, you realize the more you look at and reflect on it, you realize it only had to be God. It could only be God that brought you through some of those storms you were in, some of those crazy situations you encountered, and some of the things that just can't even be explained, but somehow, somehow, God brought you out. And um I'm learning as I get older, and it shouldn't be this way, but it's just the reality for me, is that I'm more thankful every time I think about it. I'm I'm thankful, I have gratitude because he didn't have to do anything, but he chose to. And when you think when I think about it, when I stop and think about it, it gives me more zeal, more drive to do what he called me to do. And, you know, this is only one part of what he called me to do. There are a lot of other things he's called me to do, but I'm I'm I'm thankful that I'm learning to be more in alignment with his will for my life and for his purpose, for the kingdom to be expanded and his name to be glorified. Just grateful for it. So today I want to talk a little bit about something based on an experience I had. So it's remarkable kind of how God can use the most basic of situations to reveal his truths to us. At least to me, I know that's true. This episode that I'm about to share with you was born after a group morning prayer meeting that me and my wife participated in. After the meeting, um, my soul was kind of disturbed. Actually, it wasn't kind to it, it was disturbed. And it's crazy because the way it started, the prayer was flowing so beautifully. Each person prayed over a particular concern. Um, and and but when one person began to pray, the flow was kind of disturbed. And let me explain. See, when you pray and you're focused in the spirit on spiritual things, and not focused on the natural things, there's a flow that's so in in alignment with the Holy Spirit that you can't tell where one voice ends and one begins, because there's such a beautiful flow when you're when it's led by the Spirit of God. Um, but in this prayer, again, I was disturbed, honestly. The prayer, because this prayer that this person prayed was more like a sermon, it was more like a lecture to to whoever, to us, or to an individual in the prayer, rather than a supplication made before God. Um, let me see if I can kind of explain it better by giving you a life example, if you will indulge me, please. So you may be familiar. I love watching comedy movies. One of my favorite um comedians, of course, is uh Cedric the Entertainer and Steve Harvey. And one of the movies they made was called Johnson Family Vacation. Um, the main premise of the movie was about two brothers who were highly competitive in every area of life. Um there was one part of the movie specifically that made me kind of crack up. Um the family had gathered um for with their mother at their annual family reunion, and they were about to eat. So their mother asked them to say grace before eating, and it turned into a battle of insults under the guise of grace or prayer to God. And of course, it was nothing, it wasn't anything but prayer. It was more like a barrage of insults, an exchange of comedic barbs. And I won't even get into how it sounded, but just watch Johnson Family Vacation, you'll see that part. Anyone who's watched it, you know what I'm talking about. So anyone who has been in church has also seen this kind of scenario played out in some group prayer meetings. Um, have you ever participated in a prayer meeting when a person or persons were asked to pray, and instead the person prayed a sermon? It kind of sounds like this, Lord, we give you thanks for your awesome grace and patience with us. We know that we need to repent for all the things we said in ignorance. We ask your Lord to bless Brother Cleveland while he is experiencing health challenges. Help him to know you haven't left him, but help him not to doubt you, but just to believe you for his healing. Help him, Lord, to not walk in fear and walk in doubt, even though he says he has some, Lord. But I thank you, God, that you're gonna show him that you do not operate in fear, but you operate in faith. See, that's what I mean. You can't make this stuff up. Maybe it's my opinion, but that kind of prayer is not a sincere prayer. And I highly doubt God is even hearing that or receiving that as prayer. What that represents is arrogance and a critical spirit that seeks to condemn and not love. It's judgmental, it's critical, but it's not petitioning God on behalf of Brother Cleveland. You know, and I'm not gonna go into what a what a perfect prayer is because there's no there is no perfect prayer from a humanistic standpoint. The perfect prayer is when we pray in the spirit to God, because the Holy Spirit makes perfect intercession for us in that prayer. But let's get back to what a prayer is. Prayer in a nutshell is a conversation between you and God. In a conversation, just in a basic, simple level, in a simplistic level, in a conversation, there are different levels of conversation or communication. Whether the person you are in a conversation with is God or another fellow human being. We have to be mindful of the nature of the conversation. So, what does that mean to be mindful? A conversation falls into three different groups, and I'm just paraphrasing, I'm not getting into a lot of specifics because I want to get to my point here. So, a conversation again falls into three different points. Either I'm talking at someone, I'm talking to someone, or I'm talking with someone. Again, either I'm talking at someone, I'm talking to someone, or I'm talking with someone. When you talk at someone, it's a one-sided conversation. It's a lecture-like discussion intended to project only your viewpoints and beliefs without seeking the other party's side or perspective. An example of this, which is kind of a good example, is a parent-child relationship, where the parent is correcting a child for bad behavior, which is not a bad example again, but often most of these situations, when I say um talking at someone, most of these situations are negative and fail to yield any good results due to the selfish nature of the discussion. Praying at God is the same way. Praying at God is usually how the prayer life is for most new believers, as it resembles a laundry list of items you want God to do. God may even answer some of these prayers because his grace is such that he knows the person praying at him is still growing and young in the faith, and they will eventually mature in his grace. Now, when you talk to someone, it is a two-way conversation. It's a discussion when you give information but are also receiving information. An example of this is a work conversation where you convey information in a business meeting or with a work colleague who may convey additional information to supplement which you may have shared. A believer who prays to God is one who is maturing in their faith walk, but still will have struggles within being inspired by the tick by the dictates of their flesh. And God sees it, and he may not respond. He may respond, but he may not respond. Yes, you pray with God, and it's a two-way conversation where you listen to God for direction to a point. It's not a bad thing. Because remember, you're still growing in your faith. Here's the issue: the issue is you lack personal discernment. You may fail to discern the inward reason for what you're asking God for, not understanding that you're basing it on your fleshly desires. In James 4 3, it says it this way Ye ask not, and this is King James Version, ye ask not and receive not because you ask amiss that you may consume it upon your lust. So whenever you ask God for something, and you know whether you know it or not, and it's based on your fleshly desires, he's not gonna fulfill it. Because he knows your desire is to fulfill the lust of your flesh. And so, you know, it doesn't now there are examples where, for example, it may not be based on sex, because I know when we say lust, we talk about sex, and that is true, but it also could be your lust for money or your lust for power, it whatever it is that is driven by your lust, your fleshly lust, and you ask God for something that ties to that lust, he's not gonna respond. Even though you are having a two-way conversation, God, remember, going back to Hebrews 4, God searches your heart. He knows, because he separates the soul from the spirit, and he knows that this thing that you're asking him for is either going to come from your spirit, man, or it's coming from your flesh. Now, talking with someone, the third category, is a discussion in which you walk in alignment together to accomplish or achieve a common goal. In this situation, when you're talking with someone, there is a unison of the minds. Or as we say in the legal field, a meeting of the minds, in which everyone involved walks in agreement, not in compliance, as they operate as one. And let me explain. Walking in agreement means I agree with the goal. Whereas if you just walk in compliance, you'll you'll do what's being asked of you, but you don't agree with the goal. And so in this situation, when we're talking with someone and we're walking in alignment with them, we agree to the goal, and it's we are going a step above compliance. We are one with the goal. So in this case, we have one mind, we have one thought, one heartbeat, one spirit with one focus. When they have discussions, it builds and eventually accomplishes what both parties intended. An example of this would be the Ecclesia or the church as Christ intended it to be, such as it was in the book of Acts. They were together in the upper room in prayer with one focus to tarry until the Holy Ghost came, so they could receive the power to witness unto all the world. And what was the result? The book of Acts, too. The Holy Spirit arrived in the church, was born, and they went, and this is the thing, understand, they were persecuted, but they even went in their persecution, whether they stayed in Jerusalem or whether they left Jerusalem to uh uh escape persecution, they still were on one accord, which is to go under the power of the Holy Ghost and preach the gospel. So when we pray with God, we walk with God, we have a conversation not as equals but as friends. The discussion when we walk with God or when we pray with God is two-sided. But the difference in this prayer is that the believer is humble and recognizes his or her position in the relationship as both servant and friend. He or she understands no servant can be greater than his or her master. This is not a position of humility to diminish the person, this is a position of humility and honor, knowing God chose you to walk beside him. An example of this is Jesus. He was both Son of Man and Son of God. He communed with God daily in the wilderness, and also walked in a servant mode in the earth, knowing he was there to do the will of the Father. And when they tried to exalt him, he quickly corrected them to ensure they understood his position in the earth was as the Son of Man. Now let's take a look at an example that best sums up this topic. It you can find it in Luke 18 and verse 9 through 14, and I'm going to be reading this out of the CEB or the Common English Bible. So again, this is Luke 18, verses 9 through 14. And it reads as follow as as thus. Or as follows. Oh Lord, I'm still in my uh preaching mode. Jesus told this parable to certain people who had convinced themselves that they were righteous, and who looked on everyone else with disgust. Here was what he said to them. Two people went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed about himself with these words. God, I thank you that I'm not like everyone else. Crooks, evildoers, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week. I give a tenth of everything I receive. But the but the tax collector stood at a distance. He wouldn't even lift his eyes to look toward heaven. Rather, he struck his chest and said, God show mercy to me, a sinner. I tell you, this person went down to his home justified, rather than the Pharisee. All who lift themselves up will be brought low, and those who make themselves low will be lifted up. May the Lord add a blessing to the reading of his word and sanctify these truths within our hearts. May they be engrafted into your heart, so that they may produce fruit in its due season. In Jesus' name. Amen. So here we have two individuals: a Pharisee, a spiritual leader, and a tax collector, a non-spiritual leader. Both appear to believe in God and offer prayers in the temple. So let's look at the first person. We have the Pharisee. He stands to pray, which is not a bad thing, but maybe a foreshadowing of his heart posture. In verse 12, it says the Pharisee stood and prayed about himself. About himself. So his prayer is one which gives thanks to God because he believes he's not like everyone else. And he rattles off a list of people he believes he's better than crooks, evildoers, adulterers, and the tax collector are right by him, talking about shade. That's not even shade, that's a tree he just dropped on the tax collector. So here he is being critical and judging others, and runs down others to puff himself up in God's presence. In verse 12, he rattles off his qualifications based on his performance of certain acts. So what does he do? He fasts twice a week. He ties a tenth of whatever he receives. This, my friends, is a one-sided conversation where everything as Pharisee prays at God is full of selfish intent and purpose. He's not praying with a sincere heart, but he's praying with a hearty heart. Romans 12 3 says this because of the grace that God gave me, I can say to each one of you, don't think of yourselves more highly than you ought to think. Instead, be reasonable since God has measured out a portion of faith to each one of you. This Pharisee, without question, thought highly of himself. So, how does this relate to you? Beloved, listen, tread carefully before you pray. Again, tread carefully before you pray. Before you pray, search your heart. It would be better for you to ask God to search and heal your heart before you enter into any flesh-inspired type of prayer. Prayer at or to God with an arrogant heart will cost you dearly. Oh, based on what, Brother Ken? Proverbs 16 2 through 5 says this All the ways of people are pure in their eyes, but the Lord tests the motives. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. The Lord made everything for a purpose, even the wicked for an evil day. Here's the key. The Lord detests all who are arrogant. They surely will, they surely won't go unpunished. Let me read that again. That's verse five. The Lord detests all who are arrogant. They surely won't go unpunished. Think about that, beloved. And I'm saying this not to hurt you, but to help you. Now let's examine the prayer of the tax collector. He's also standing when he prays, but look at how but look at the posture he takes when he stands. He stood far away from God's presence. He didn't even lift his eyes towards heaven. Why? Is this a false sense of humility? No, not at all. He stood afar off because he was acknowledging his sinful state and was humbled by God's presence in the temple. In a sense, he didn't think he was worthy to even be near God's presence, but he still found himself in the temple, even if afar off, to beseech or to ask God for forgiveness. He didn't lift his eyes because he didn't want God to see his shame for his sinfulness. But even in his sinful state, it seemed he was more aware of God's presence than the Pharisee was. He knew the place where he stood was holy ground. He struck his chest and prayed for God's mercy, acknowledging he was a sinner. Isn't this what we have to do before we become saved? That we confess that we are sinful or sinner and need a savior. So here is this Pharisee, not Pharisee, this tax collector. He strikes his chest and prayed for God's mercy, acknowledging he was a sinner. This was not false humility. This, my friend, was repentance. Again, I'm gonna repeat this again. Him striking his chest, him not even looking towards heaven, was not a false sense of humility. This was his way of repentance. In the eyes of the Father, the tax collector was just before the Lord, more than the Pharisee, for this reason. Because the tax collector humbled himself and did not exalt himself. Let me correct. Let me let me say that again. You love it. The tax collector humbled himself and did not exalt himself. I want to almost sit down in that, you know, but I'm I'm gonna be cool. I'm gonna be cool. I'm gonna read the scripture to you because I think it'll bring in more clearly what position this tax collector was in. It's in 2 Corinthians 7 10. It says godly sadness produces a changed heart and life that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets, but sorrow under the influence of the world produces death. So this tax collector was showing godly sorrow or godly sadness that produces repentance or produces a changed heart. So let me say some things here. Please don't misinterpret what I'm saying when I'm sharing about praying with God. Yes, it is a prayer in which we should understand our position in comparison to who God is. Be humble. In addition to humility, though, walk with him and talk with him. When we pray with God, we talk less and listen to him more because we understand our role as one of a servant. Be like David and tend to the sheep in the field. I'm paraphrasing because I know you have no sheep, and I know you're not David, but my point is David understood that while others may not know or acknowledge him, and there are others who you may regard highly and they don't acknowledge you. It doesn't matter because while others may not know or acknowledge who you are in God's eyes, God sees and acknowledges you in his kingdom, both in heaven and on earth. Your personal and silent prayers with him in the field or in the wilderness are far more powerful than you may imagine. So let a man examine himself, beloved. How is your prayer life? Are you one who prays at God, prays to God, or prays with God? And I know this is a hard word for some, but it's also confirmation for others. But I I ask you, don't make the foolish mistake of letting your pride and your arrogant spirit shut down the Holy Spirit, who's resonating, who's resonating this message to you right now. Because if it pricks, beloved, it sticks. If it pricks, meaning if this word pricks your heart, it's sticking to your heart. You can get angry or you can allow this message to change your heart posture. I leave this thought with you in James 1:21 through 25. And I'm going to read this in the CEB version. Therefore, with humility, set aside all moral filth and the growth of wickedness, and welcome the word planted deep inside you, the very word that is able to save you. You must be doers of the word and not only hearers who mislead themselves. Those who hear but don't do the word are like those who look at their faces in a mirror. They look at themselves, walk away, and immediately forget what they look like or what they were like. But there are those who study the perfect law, the law of freedom, and continue to do it. They don't listen and then forget, but they put it into practice in their lives. They will be blessed in whatever they do. I leave that scripture with you and ask you to think about these words I shared. And I'm not saying not to make you feel um, how can I put it, not to shame you or not to uh cause you to look at yourself in a poor way. But you know, we have to examine our hearts, we have to ask God to search our hearts, and we have to be open to hear what the Holy Spirit has to say about it. I pray this word blessed you and changes you. In the name of Jesus, I thank you. And just want to say I love you guys. Love you, ladies, love you, men, love you, brothers, love you, sisters, love you, my my young brother in Christ, my young sister in Christ. I love you. To those children that even listen to this, and there are some that do, who are wanting to grow. And I I uh if you are in that 12-year-old teenage category, even younger, I am so blessed by you listening because you want to be more. You know God's calling you to more, so be more. God is blessed with you, God is so pleased with you, and I'm praying for you, amen. Love you guys, have a blessed day. Love ya. So I want you to repeat this after me. Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus Christ. Your word says, whoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved according to your word in Acts 2 21. I'm calling on you, and I come surrendering my life and my will to you. I pray and ask Jesus to come into my heart and be Lord over my life according to your word in Romans 10, 9 and 10. That says, if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes into righteousness, and with the mouth, confession is made into salvation. I do that now. I confess that Jesus is Lord of my life, and I believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead. I ask you, Holy Spirit, to come make your home inside of me and live in me. I confess all my sins to you, Lord, and ask for forgiveness for them right now in the name of Jesus. I receive you, Jesus, as my Lord and Savior. I thank you, God, that I am now reborn and a new creation. I am a Christian, a child of Almighty God, and a child of the one true King. I have salvation and I am saved. Thank you, Jesus. Lord, you also said in your word, if you then being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him according to your scripture in Luke 11, 13? So now, Lord, I'm asking you to infill me with the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, rise up within me as I praise God. I fully expect to receive a supernatural prayer language and speak in that language as you give me the utterance, according to your word in Acts 2.4. In Jesus' name, amen. So be it. Congratulations, beloved. If you prayed this prayer, then you were born again and now have eternal life in Christ Jesus. All of your sins are now forgiven, and the Holy Spirit now lives inside of you. The word of God says that everyone in heaven rejoices at your salvation, according to Luke 15, 7 through 10. So right now, guess what? Heaven is having a party because of your decision, and God has a huge smile on his face. If you pray this prayer, please email us at alptrinity1 at gmail.com. Again, that's alptrinity1 at gmail.com. So we can hear your testimony. Please email us and we can pray for you and send you a free gift from this ministry. God bless you. And remember this always Jesus loves you, and so do we. God bless you and welcome home.