From Stone To Soft: Finding Compassion Again

A quiet return turns into a bold challenge: keep the message pure, the mission clear, and the heart soft. We open with gratitude for unexpected growth and a frank look at why we’re staying unmonetized until God says otherwise, even as we prepare to expand into video. That decision isn’t about playing small—it’s about guarding motives, finding partners who value obedience over brand, and keeping the spotlight on Kingdom work that serves people first.

From there, we go straight to the heart. Public crises and private weariness have a way of hardening us, yet compassion remains the test of a living faith. We share stories of churches, mosques, and neighbors feeding families during shutdowns, and we wrestle with how trust eroded when some ministries drifted from community care to polished performance. The question is uncomfortable but necessary: what happens when a heart of flesh turns to stone—and how do we turn back?

Matthew 14 gives us a map. Jesus grieves John’s death, seeks solitude, and still moves toward the crowd with healing and provision. The disciples see scarcity; Jesus says, You feed them. He blesses, breaks, and gives until everyone is satisfied. That pattern is our template for mercy and for life. Maybe you feel overlooked or underqualified; in God’s hands, little is enough, wounds are reshaped, and your story can feed many. We close with practical ways to give wisely—supporting shelters, legal aid, innocence work, education funds, and local assemblies that tangibly serve the least of these—while staying tender to the Spirit’s lead.

If this spoke to you, share it with a friend, subscribe for upcoming episodes, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the message. Tell us: where is God asking you to show compassion this week?

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back And Gratitude
• 1:05 Growth, Critics, And Global Reach
• 3:56 Moving To Video And Guarding Motives
• 6:04 Why Not Monetizing And Finding Aligned Partners
• 9:20 Heart Check: Compassion In A Hard Season
• 12:02 Community Need Amid Shutdowns
• 15:08 Why Giving Declined And Eroded Trust
• 18:05 Scripture Focus: Feeding The Five Thousand
• 21:10 Lessons On Faith, Provision, And Focus
• 24:18 Blessed, Broken, Given: A Personal Call
• 28:04 Wrestling With Self‑Care And Obedience
• 31:10 Church Backrooms, Hurt, And Hard Truths
• 35:02 Choosing Kingdom Giving And Wise Stewardship
• 38:20 How To Sow With Compassion
• 40:20 Closing, Contact, And Thanksgiving Blessing
• 41:43 Salvation Invitation And Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:01

Welcome to another little podcast. Another little podcast. We hope you mum. We take a level. We keep an open heart. So we can reach teach a class for you. Will you love this one as popcasts for you? You ready for something little? Something that will challenge or thinking. Are you willing and ready to unlearn in order to learn? Willing to terrible? So gonna terrible. People wait for us. Let's competition.

SPEAKER_00: 0:44

Hey, good morning. Welcome to another look podcast. This is your brother, brother Kenny D coming to you on this beautiful Saturday morning. I know it's been a minute since I've put out a uh episode, and I really, really appreciate all those who have been faithful and following. It's weird because it seems like when I take breaks the uh numbers just go crazy up. Not that the numbers matter, but I do look at them. Okay. Helps me to know not so much what to say, but to know where I'm reaching and where I can reach better. Um but I've also the reason why I took time away, I think the last time I did an episode was in September. I took time away because the I've been led by the spirit to go in a different direction for next year. Um, so um, and and before I give you where we're going, let me just say glory to God. Um, we started this in 2021. I had a lot of people when we first started, outside of my immediate family, who were naysayers. People who tried to do what I did, and not to say there are there are a lot of great Christian podcasters. Hats off to them. I belong to a few of them uh groups, and they have been very encouraging, they've been helping me for sure growing. Um, but we found a similar vein when I talked to some other Christian podcasters is that there are a lot of people who are naysayers. Um, for whatever reason, maybe they tried it and they failed, um, and then they don't want you to succeed. And sad thing is, most of the encouragement I found that I got outside of the Christian podcast groups I belong to were people who weren't even Christians. The church is one of the hardest critics, and and critique is great, but there are people who are just haters. Just is. And you know, in 2021 when we started 2022, a lot of haters. The more I succeeded, the more haters came out, and and surprisingly, it was from people who I thought would be encouraging or at least would be critical, but help. But hey, it's 2025 going in 2026, four or five years later, we're actually growing, and we're in we're we're definitely reaching within the United States. Thank you, Greenville, South Carolina. I love y'all. Um, Arizona, uh, Indiana for sure, New Jersey, my home state. But what's blowing my mind is that we're reaching places in the uh in Europe for sure, in Germany. Um, there is a from what I understand, and I'm not 100%, you know, I don't I'm not there, so I don't know, but there are people who listen in Hamburg, Germany, and they have a Bible study centered around some of the things that we're sharing this podcast. Glory to God, Philippines. Um, South America is really growing a lot. Um in uh Belize, um Chile, uh Venezuela, I believe. I'm not sure if it's I can't remember. I don't, but it's it's growing in South America for sure. Um there's a huge development similar to Germany happening there, and I'm grateful. My prayer is that whatever it is, whether it be small or big, let God get the glory. I don't believe in I will never even attempt to touch the glory of God. He may make, he may expand, he may make your name known, but never touch his glory. Glory, all glory belongs to God, and to touch it would be crazy. But uh, why am I saying all that? Because there has been a growing um need for us to expand that. When we started, it was just audio. I preferred that, and I still prefer it, but God, what if you know anything about God? He asks you to stretch outside of your comfort zone. So we're going viral. We're gonna be going, um hopefully we'll get a YouTube channel and we'll be putting it out there, out there where you can see my mug, and you can see that, and that's not what I'm worried about because I'm I'm cool with how I look, but my thing is that two things is my my reservation was because people get tied up in how the vessel looks instead of listening to what the vessel is saying. Um, and I wanted to focus to be on the word that was coming out of my mouth through God, um uh or coming out of God's mouth through me, sorry. And the second thing I wanted to do was, you know, in doing a video uh podcast, one of the things I wanted to do is expand to have interviews with people who you may not know but are doing kingdom work, not church work, but kingdom work. Um and then also um it's hard sometimes to find a reliable partner, you know, to do it with. And now um I partner with my wife, she helps me with the creative side of this podcast. She doesn't really do the production side, um, but I bounce ideas off of her and we bounce ideas off each other. My kids were part, but they're now adults and they have their own lives, so I don't really get them involved as much. But one of the things that's difficult is having someone who, number one, outside of my own spouse, who is reliable, that if you're gonna do a video podcast with it, they're gonna be consistent and that you're all on the same page. And let me explain why I say that on the same page. Because one of the things I've found, and again, I'm not please don't listen, don't read into what I'm about to say the wrong way. God never told me at this point, and up to this day, he has not told me to monetize my podcast. Now, you know, if that situation ever comes to uh well, there were opportunities, but I didn't say yes because God didn't tell me to. Um, and what I found was when I did not do that, you know, and I've had people, again, dog me out saying, You're a fool, God's using your gift. They'd use scripture to try to get me to move away from what the Spirit of God's leading me to do. But here's the thing is that if I am not being led to put this out to make money, I gotta have someone who is partnering with me who has that same belief. Meaning, not that we can't change, because eventually it may change where God says it's okay to monetize it. He hasn't told me that yet. He hasn't led me there yet. But I can't have someone partner with me who they're just looking for a payday. They may be full of word, they may be full of knowledge, they may be full of wisdom, but if they're looking to build a brand, if they're looking to build and get money because whatever they do for a living is not sufficient, that I can't get down with that. What I have found for myself personally, when I started this, you know, not that we were living paycheck to paycheck, but it wasn't easy either. We were, you know, I wasn't making the money I make now, but what I found was when being faithful to what God called me to do with this podcast, he has blessed me in my career occupation um in the legal field where I want for nothing. So, you know, he's blessed me by being obedient to what he's told me to do. And I don't want to go against that because, first of all, it's not me, it's his gift. It's not me, it's about him, and it's him who has commissioned me to do this. So finding someone who has that same heart for the things of God, not looking to build a brand off of God. Um, and again, listen to me. If you make money doing that, and that's where just and it's the key, and that's where the Spirit of the Lord has led you to do, all power to you. I have no problem with that. That's just not where I'm at right now. Okay, and finding someone who's not looking for that or having ulterior motives is a hard thing because I have this is my baby. This is why my I call it my baby because this is the vision God has given me. But just because it's my baby doesn't mean everyone has the same care for that baby. And I've made the mistake of God giving me ideas for businesses and sharing with people who were motivated but didn't have the same um vision of having a baby and taking care of that baby. You know, it's almost like getting having a child with someone, and you that same person, even though they may have you may have had a good relation with them, they don't have the same motivation to be a good parent. I gotta find someone who's willing to parent this baby with me. So pray for me. I'm praying that God will put someone in my path. And I have a few people that I've had on my heart, but you know, I I have wait, I'm waiting on God to say yay or nay. And until he says yes or no, I won't act. I'll still keep doing what I'm doing. But yes, we are going viral. We will have a YouTube channel in 2026. When that is, I will not tell you, but keep it in prayer. Amen. Amen. So listen, let's get into um the crux, the heart of this episode today. So one of the things I I had to take a look at is um, you know, especially in this current atmosphere in America, is uh I had to look at my heart. I was troubled about something that I saw happen, and I began to question where my heart was at. And specifically where my heart of compassion was at. So I had to ask myself this question: so, what happens to a heart that at one time had zeal and compassion for the least and hurting? A heart of flesh that now resembles a heart of stone. And I think this is a question we have to ask ourselves individually and as a body. The body of Christ is the heart of Christ. In the body, we are Christ-like, which means it's natural for us to be moved with compassion when we see an unmet need or someone hurting. This is not changed in our current environment. It's just not seen as much through the lens of the world. But what's amazing is if you look at recently with the government shutdown, I won't get into discussing that, what I what we have seen is an amazing outpour in the body of Christ and outside the body of Christ of people seeking to help people who may be a benefit who may be uh detrimentally in uh detrimentally affected or impacted by the government shutdown, whether you are the person who is a recipient of SNAP benefits or a person who is a govern works for the government or gets paid by the government and you're not getting a check. I was listening to um Ricky Smiling Morning show and they had Pastor Jamal Bryant on there, and it broke my heart because he shared that, you know, when we talk about SNAP benefits, of course, people like to cast aspersions and judgments, um, you know, based on a lot of their demeanor. But one of the things we have to consider with this situation is there are people who are working without a paycheck and have families to feed. And one of the things Pastor Jamal Bryant shared was that they had to actually close down New Birth to have a private um feeding session for people who are in the FBI and their families. I said, wow. It really hit home then because I was like, wow, you're talking about people who are working to protect our country, who had to get in food lines, had to get food given to them by churches because they weren't getting fed. Because they didn't have money to feed them or their families. But thank God the church is rising to the forefront. Thank God, good people, whether they are Christians or not, are rising to the forefront. And listen, this is even happening in mosques. This is happening in in other uh religious organizations, even though as a Christian we are not religious, but other religious organizations are doing the same thing. It's not just the church in America. So hats off to anyone who's willing to give to take care of the needs of others. Now, while compassion for the needs of others and hurting remains as our response as the body of Christ, it's not always that way for the church at large. Giving in church is at an all-time low, and there are valid reasons for this sad fact. I can explain one reason by sharing some of my experiences as a young believer who grew up in church. Giving in church when I was a kid, when I was a teenager, was a common action among members, visitors, and even community members who did not belong to the church. Everyone in the community gave to that church, and this is the reason why. Because the church was part of the community and a centerpiece for the community. It was a place to gather to discuss civil events like civil rights, everyday issues, and congregate when the community was in crisis. If there was a widow, if there was an orphan or someone who died in the community, the church would rally and work to meet that need. This was a consistent reality for those who were members of the church, but I also saw this as a common reality for those who belonged to the community, even if they did not attend or belong to the church. See, the church pastor was a respected member of the community where the church was located because the pastor tended not only to the flock he pastored in the church, but he tended to the flock that he pastored outside the church. In other words, he was a community pastor. Much of that trust, though, was eroded when churches overall shifted from being community-oriented to being business oriented. Pastors went from working for a living to a full-time pastorate with six-figure salaries paid by the congregants. Instead of the community seeing a shepherd who tended to the flock of the church and the community, there became a proliferation of wolves and sheep's clothing, surfaced and fleeced the flock to maintain a lifestyle of decadence and excess. The innocence of the community and the church congregation was taken by the greed of a few bad seeds that tainted the whole crop of good seed pastors. And people were hurt by the greed, and they pulled back on giving, and they pulled back on displaying compassion to others. The trust in the church caretaking for the needs of the vulnerable ended abruptly, and this harmed the least of these who needed the church's help the most. But while all this may be a fact, should it change us though? I'm gonna ask that question again. While all this may be true, should all that change us as believers, as followers of Christ? Because the word of God stands forever. And isn't our obedience still a requirement, right? Isn't obedience better than sacrifice? So let's look at the word of God. Because I know this is getting kind of tight, but I mean we gotta look at it. We gotta measure ourselves by what the word says, right? So what does God's word say? And let's look at Matthew 14, 13 through 21. And I believe I have this in the English Standard Version, and it says this. Now, when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat. Uh let me give you some background first. So in this scripture, um prior to the this part of the scripture, John the Baptist, the cousin of Jesus, was beheaded by King Herod. So I'm gonna leave that at that. So let's start in verse 13. Now, when Jesus heard this, this referring to the death of John the Baptist, his cousin, he, he being Jesus, withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from their towns. When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, and healed their sick. Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, This is a desolate place, and the day is now over. Send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves. But Jesus said, They need not go away, but you give them something to eat. They said to him, We have only five loaves here and two fish. And he said, Bring them here to me. Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said, A blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds, and they all ate and were satisfied. And he took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over, and those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. May the Lord add a blessing to the reading of his word, and may he sanctify these truths within your heart and soul. In Jesus' name.

unknown: 18:03

Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 18:05

So let's get let's talk about this. So in verse 13, Jesus was hurting, i.e., was showing emotion, right? Doesn't it scripture say that he's he was touched with the feeling of our infirmities? In other words, the same way we felt emotions, Jesus felt emotions, and here he was hurt and grieving because he learned of his cousin John the Baptist's death or really murder. He left the crowd to be alone. In other words, he needed self-care. And in verse 14, we see what happens. The crowd followed him anyway. They knew John was his cousin, they knew he was hurting and grieving, but they followed him anyway. No question or actions were selfish. But here's the thing: even in his grief, Jesus was selfless. He was moved with compassion towards them. You see that in verse 14. When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. So while they were acting selfish, he was selfless because he was moved with compassion towards them and healed those who were sick. This shows me that a person with a heart of Christ moves towards the need, regardless of what emotional challenge they are experiencing personally. I think about the first responders. I mean, there's danger. While most people run from the danger, they run towards the danger. That's why I mean we always, whenever you see a first responder, tell them thank you. They put their lives online every day, every hour, to take the care of the public. We see the same action Jesus did. He saw their need and he ran towards their need. And he didn't, even though he was experiencing emotional anguish and pain and grief, he had to push past that. Lord help me with that one. I don't think I'm alone. In verse 15, the disciples' response to a crowd being gathered. It seemed also a little selfish, but also you could also say arguably it may not have been selfish. It could have been a little selfless. So why would it be considered selfish? Well, the answer to send them away so they could buy themselves food comes across as callous, as they did not want to be responsible for the needs of the people. Hmm. Sound familiar? On the other hand, it could also be seen as unselfish because they were concerned about the people being famished and wanted to allow them to get something to eat. Both sides have credible arguments, but the important part is not in verse 15, it's in verse 16. It's Jesus' response. In verse 16, he tells the disciples, they don't need to go away. You feed them. He was challenging their faith to see if it would rise to the level where they would realize he is Jehovah Jirah, the Lord who provides. And he was in their midst. They would take care of the need before them. And I think, in fairness to the disciples, whether you think their actions were selfish or selfless, I think we actually have a lot of commonality with the disciples. We see they were looking at the people and saying, we don't have enough food for them. Let them go take care of it. Let them go away if they have need. But they didn't, they were looking at the people. In other words, people symbolic of the problem or the challenge. What they failed to do is look at the solution who was right in their midst. The provider was there. The God who made everything that they are standing on and around, even the people that they're looking at, the one who created everything was right there. And they were busy looking at the people and not looking at the solution. We do the same thing. We get so fixated on the problem, the issue. We get so fixated on the storm instead of looking at the one who is the god of the storm, the one who controls everything. I have been guilty of that time after time after time. You have to. We look at, we can't do this because we don't have enough. And take our eyes off of the one who, if we give it, if we put it in his hands, if we just take what little we have and put it in his hands, he will multiply it. Did we not see that with Elisha and the widow who had a little cruise of oil? And I won't get into that for sake of time. But he is the God who provides what seems little to us. If you put it in his hands, he will multiply it so much so that when they gave him the the uh five fish and two loaves, I believe I have that the number right, when they gave him the uh, let me let me make sure I got that right. Excuse me. When they gave him the five loaves and two fish, he multiplied it so much so that it fed five thousand men, not including the children and women. And they had 12 baskets full of food left over. Why does that not sound like God feeding Israel in the Old Testament with manna and quail? And see how this thing keeps we keep seeing God do it time after time again. The same God yesterday is the same God today. See, unfortunately, like them and us, verse 17 shows the response was one of doubt, failing to realize who he was, who Jesus was. Here he is, he had performed many signs, wonders, and miracles before them, and they still fail to see it. I mean, it's right there in verse 14. He healed their sick right in the midst of them. And I love his response in verse 18. He says, Bring them here to me, meaning the uh fish and loaves. Doesn't that sound familiar? Matthew 11 28 says what? Come unto me, all you that labor are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. It also sounds reminiscent of 1 Peter 5, 7, when it says, casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you. Verse 18 seems to show a common theme trusting God to take care of the need. But as we read further, we also have a role to play. In verse 19, Jesus directed the crowds to sit down. Sitting down in simplistic terms is the same as resting. This verse illustrates his rest and our expectation. Why? Because rest and expectation implies preparation to receive. When I sit and I rest, I am preparing to receive from the person who told me to rest. But then we see Jesus doing several things. Next. First, he took the five loaves and two fish. He gazed up to heaven. Looks like Psalms 121, 1 and 2 being repeated, huh? Where David says, I will lift up my eyes unto the hills. From whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord which made heaven and earth. So Jesus gazes up into heaven. Next, he blesses what he was provided and broke them. And there's so much I could go into this well, finally, he gave them to his disciples to give to the multitude. There is so much I could share in these things alone. But for a second time, I will save that for another podcast episode. I can't help myself though. I gotta talk about it a little bit. Alright, so again, first he took the five loaves and two fish, right? And he gazed up to heaven. And again, the disciples in the hands of the disciples, they didn't look like much. So let's substitute five loaves and fishes. What if God's calling you to be used and you are the fish and the loaf? To many people, and I'm speaking to someone, I don't know why. I'm sorry, my prophetic gift is kicking up. You probably have been thrown away by the church or by society in some reason some form, shape, or form. They don't see much need of you. You don't look worthy, you don't look like Saul, you look more like David. And so you don't seem like much to them, but in the hands of God, he says, God, come unto me. Bring them here to me. Bring bring John here to me. Bring Susan here to me. Bring Khalif here to me. Bring Ken here to me. And what did Jesus do when he got those five loaves? He gazed up to heaven and he blessed it and he broke it. Beloved, you're the fish and you're the loaf. You've been rejected by society, by the church, maybe. They don't see much value in you, but God sees the value in you. God sees the David in you. God takes you in his hands and he gazes up to heaven and he blesses you. And then he breaks you. Think about that. He blesses you and he breaks you. But there's a reason why he breaks you. Again, from when I said after he broke the bread and the fish, he gave them to the disciples to give to the multitude. So here you are. You don't seem to be valued by many people. By many people you look up to. But Jesus, he's valuing you. And he says, Bring it here. Bring him here. Bring her here. And he gazes up to heaven and he blesses you, then he breaks you. But the reason why he breaks you is because he's going to give you to the multitude. He's going to give charge over his angels. He's going to give charge to the Holy Spirit. Give you to the multitude. After he breaks you, he blesses you, then he breaks you to make you over again. New wineskin. And then he gives you to the multitude. To be used by him to bless many. That which was rejected by man, just like Jesus was rejected as the chief cornerstone, those who are followers of his will be rejected. But he's going to take you in his hand, bless you, break the old you so that the new you could come out. Because the anointing requires a crushing. The common let me get back to this because I could go. Holy Ghost, you are something else. So the commonality we see in these scriptures, which we also see in Luke 7, 11 through 15, was what the driving force was behind his actions. Compassion. Jesus was moved to compassion to feed the multitude, to heal the sick, and to raise the dead. If we take a close look at the picture in these scriptures, here he is, tired, exhausted, grieving, and just wanting a break, some solitude, some self-care. Despite how he felt, he continued, though, to do the will of the Father. His compassion and love for others pushed them beyond his feelings and his own personal needs. And this, my friend, challenges me because as I grow older, I've learned that self care is important. However, sometimes I do allow my desire. Desire for self-care to take precedence over God's need for me to do his will. To be honest, I found I've allowed the vowels of compassion to close sometimes. I'm not proud of it. I'm ashamed of it actually. But I've had to take an honest look at what and the why for myself personally. Now let me be clear. I know it's easy to show compassion for those you love, your kids, your friends, even your church members. And that's important. But it's easy when it's someone who loves you. But what about if it's someone who doesn't care for you? Just stop throwing that out there. Think about that. Doesn't Jesus say love your enemies? What if he says show compassion for those who you envy? And for that person who's listening, you know what I'm talking about. Holy Ghost help me. But as I said, kinda I had to take an honest look at what I about me and me personally. See, I've served in church leadership since I was a teenager. I'm 57. I started serving in church. I was I started as a junior deacon at the age of 12. Okay. You do the math, okay? But I've been in church leadership since I was a teenager. Um and and being in leadership, it opened my eyes to things I wish I really had not seen. Now, don't get me wrong, I saw some good things being done with the giving in the church. For example, I saw community centers open. I saw the feeding of the indigent and the homeless, I saw clothing and sheltering of the homeless. Um I saw people being taken care of who were sick, I saw the widows being tended to, I saw orphans being taken care of. The hard part is most of these things I saw was when I was a teenager in the 70s and 80s. Well, I was a kid in the 70s, I was a teenager in the 80s. But when I reached adulthood in the 80s, late 80s and 90s, I definitely saw less of that taking place and more shepherds becoming wealthy and gaining more material possessions. Nothing wrong with that. But they did that at the neglect of those in need in their own congregations. And the community went without too. Instead of the church being the centerpiece of the community, it became a monolith, it became another structure despised by the community. I saw I saw it then, but when I went with the but I went with the flow. So yeah, I saw all this happening, but I went with the flow because I didn't want to lose my title, I didn't want to lose my position, because I wasn't trying to upset the status quo and lose my position or title within the church. Trust me, I I worked in those financial backrooms where the room would be lined with digital money counting machines, money counting machines and money counters. And even I even made the deposits after service. So I knew firsthand how much money was coming into the church daily. What broke my heart the most is in those times when I would see a single-parent household with needs, and they would get sparse to no assistance under a benevolence fund, while church leaders and their family members would get aligned share of the giving because they were on the church payroll. Trust me, I've I can't tell my times I've seen church pastors and their pastors, okay, I get it, they're on the payroll. But their wives, first lady on the payroll, she doesn't really have a leadership position in the church. Now, I I have also seen first ladies who are the most humble, who should be on the church payroll. I s I I wouldn't get into it. But I know of a first lady right now who's actually over the media ministry. She doesn't, I mean, she ain't sitting on no stage. She is on the ground every Sunday running things. And and she deserves to be on a payroll. I don't even know if she is, but if she is, God bless her, because she does a great job. And I'm sure there are some like that, but there are some that are just eye candy for the church. They've been given a title, maybe, so they can get a check, but it's crazy. I grew up in a church where my pastor worked, and his wife had a job. Or if she didn't, he took care of it. But anyway, there was a one time, I could tell you, there was a single mother who was in desperate need of a car. She was a single mother, had a teenage son, and we tried to raise funds to get her like a$5,000 car. But we had to do it through the channels of the church because she was a member of the church, and we were doing it through church members. And we tried to raise the$5,000 and we had most of it. We had most of the money and asked the church for assistance to complete. Um excuse me. We asked the church for assistance to complete the transaction. But the church flatly turned us down and actually commanded us or ordered us not to purchase the car for. I mean, it broke my heart. And it still bothers me. When you when you see this same story or similar ones playing out repeatedly in the household of faith, it scars your trust. It causes you to distrust. It caused me to have a heart of stone. Because I knew how much money we were bringing in on a on a per service basis. Three services a Sunday. One on Wednesday. I was in those back rooms. I knew how much money I was making the deposits, and we couldn't give her less than I mean, we had like four four thousand forty two hundred. We couldn't give her eight extra$800. And even if we could have got a$4,200 card, it's they ordered us not to even do it. Man, what in the world is that? How does that happen? So as I said earlier, my aim is to be like Jesus and push beyond how I feel and how I perceive things. Even with this, what I just shared. And why? Because Jesus pushed past his grief and need for self-care. And if he did, and because he did that, I also must push past my past hurts and even present feelings towards things and people, because the harvest is plenty, but the laborers are few. I would much be a I would I would much rather be a private Isaiah and say, here I am, send me Isaiah 6.8 rather than be a public charlatan resembling a clean a clean tombstone with a form of godliness. Let me say that again. I would much rather be a private Isaiah and say, according to Isaiah 6.8, here I am, Lord, send me. I'd rather be that person than to be a public charlatan resembling a clean tombstone or a whited separate sepulchre with a form of godliness. So I've learned and I'm still learning to channel the resources that God has provided me and give the causes that resemble um those things that tend to the least of these. Um so what does that mean? God's provided me and given to um well what kind of things do I give to? So let me just I won't get into specifics, but in addition to giving in my church, I give to shelters, especially shelters that take care of abused women. Um I s I give resources to poverty centers. You know, people who tend to the poverty in areas like Appalachia, also handle people who are indigent from a legal standpoint. I give the legal defense funds for the wrongly incarcerated, like the Innocence Project, educational funds for the impoverished seeking higher education, and other causes in addition to what I saw in my church. And that's how God is leading me. That's how the Spirit of God is led me. And and the reason why is because I give at a kingdom level. And I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm always led to give at a different and great great level or greater level, based on kingdom, not based on church. Because the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. And I am still challenged every day to work on being a person moved by compassion as the spirit of God leads, and not to allow people or events to cause me to be seared in my spirit or conscience. So what do I do? I just sow and help where I can as the spirit of the Lord leads, and the rest I leave in God's hands. I pray that also is your approach. Well, if this word has been a blessing to you, please let us know. Feel free to send us an email at our email at alptrinity1 at gmail.com, or you can hit us up on our Facebook or Instagram page. Most of the time, I'm getting I'm just getting stuff on my pod page now and my bus route page or on email. Um, I get a little few things on my Facebook page, but for the most part, really appreciative of everybody there. I will be better. I have I have two more episodes that I am preparing as the Spirit of God has really led me, and they're gonna kind of cut a little bit, but it's good. So I hope this has been a blessing to you. If it has, let us know. In the meantime, God bless you, and we pray that God's blessings um dwell on you. And if I don't get to you before Thanksgiving, you have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving in the Lord. In Jesus' name, amen. Love ya. According to Romans 10, 9 and 10, it says if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. One believes with the heart, resulting in righteousness, and one confesses with the mouth, resulting in salvation. So if you believe, I want you to repeat these words after me. Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus Christ. Your word says, Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. And that's in Acts 2.21. I am calling on you, and I come surrendering my life and my will to you. I pray and ask Jesus to come into my heart and be Lord over my life. If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised up from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness, and with your mouth I make confession unto salvation. I do that now. I confess that Jesus is Lord of my life, and I believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead. I ask you, Holy Spirit, to come make your home inside of me and live in me. I confess all of my sins to you, Lord, and ask for forgiveness for them right now in the name of Jesus. I receive you, Jesus, as my Lord and Savior. I thank you, God, that I am now reborn and a new creation. I am a Christian, a child of Almighty God, and a child of the one true King. I have salvation and I am saved. Thank you, Jesus. Lord, you also said in your word, Lord, if you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him, according to your word in Luke 11 13. I'm also asking you to infill me with the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, rise up as I pray. Holy Spirit, rise up within me as I praise God. I fully expect to receive a supernatural prayer language and speak in that language as you give me the utterance, according to your word in Acts 2.4. In Jesus' name, Amen. So be it. Congratulations. If you prayed this prayer, then you were born again, and now have eternal life in Christ Jesus. All of your sins are now forgiven, and the Holy Spirit now lives inside of you. The word of God says that everyone in heaven rejoices at your salvation, according to Luke 15, 7 and 10. So right now, heaven is having a party because of your decision, and God has a huge smile on his face. If you prayed this prayer, please email us at alptrinity one at gmail.com so we can hear your testimony, pray for you, and send you a gift from this ministry. God bless you, and remember this always. Jesus loves you.

unknown: 44:17

Amen.